


what's been missing right here

by JennaTalbot



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Impromptu Pizza Party, M/M, the gangsey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaTalbot/pseuds/JennaTalbot
Summary: “Talk to me, Gansey,” Blue said, fully expecting to be met with silence.Gansey was mercurial at the best of times, and prone to ignoring any opportunity to talk about himself or his problems, and Blue expected this to be no different.Instead, he surprised her by responding with, “I don’t know where to start.”
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71
Collections: TRC Spring Fling





	what's been missing right here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imacashew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imacashew/gifts).



Blue was frustrated.

She and Gansey had returned from their road trip with Henry almost two weeks ago, and nothing was as it should be.

Henry had left, called back to Korea by his mother, and despite Blue and Gansey’s insistence otherwise, he went.

Ronan and Adam were dating now, and when Blue called, neither of them answered. That in itself wasn’t unusual—Ronan handled his phone like it was toxic waste, and Adam was working at least two jobs at any given point. The unusual part was that they never called her back.

Blue knew that Gansey himself only saw Ronan for a brief flash here and there, when Ronan realized he had left something important enough at Monmouth that he couldn’t just dream up a replacement.

Blue was frustrated. 

She could see the cracks in Richard Campbell Gansey III, but he refused to let himself slow down enough to process what had happened to him. For their entire trip, he never stopped moving, not during the day nor in the middle of the night. They had covered a lot of ground and had made a lot of memories that Blue would cherish forever, but the pace had been nonstop. 

Once they returned to Henrietta and everything had been flipped sideways, Gansey still didn’t slow down. He was restless without his friends and without his quest to find Glendower. Blue was worried he was going to leave—leave Henrietta and leave her—and never turn back, on to the next adventure he could throw himself into. 

Blue was frustrated, because instead of dealing with his emotions, Gansey had shoved them down somewhere deep inside and refused to acknowledge them. Blue was frustrated because she could see Gansey fraying at the edges, and Blue was frustrated that she was the only one left to see it. Without her, Gansey could move on seamlessly and pretend that the events leading up to his second resurrection had never happened. He could continue to repress the thing that had made his nightmares so much worse, the thing that made it harder for him to turn on his All American charm, the thing that made him simultaneously less and more Gansey. 

Blue wasn’t going to stand for that.

— — — 

Blue cracked her eyes open to the sound of her phone. As quickly as her sleep-numbed limbs were able, she groped for her phone on the nightstand, hoping to silence it before she woke up the entirety of 300 Fox Way while vowing to kill whoever was calling her right now.

That thought immediately vanished when she saw the name flashing across her screen. 

“Gansey?”

“Hello, Jane,” his voice replied from the other end of the line.

“Gansey, it is,” Blue pulled the phone away from her ear to check the time, “3:22 am. Didn’t we agree that you wouldn’t call this early? Some of us need to sleep. Aren’t you at your mom’s rally thing anyways?” She added as an afterthought.

“I was,” Gansey said.

Blue felt her heart contort in a way she wasn’t sure was possible at his second short response. After a moment of silence, Blue prompted, “You were?”

A heavy sigh, followed by more silence.

“Gans—”

“I left. I couldn’t take it anymore, Jane, the people and the noise and everyone is just so  _ fake _ , and everything I did was so  _ fake _ , everything I always do is fake—“ Gansey’s voice came out in a rush. "Everything I do is fake.”

Blue felt her heart clench in a way that had to be unhealthy at the childlike desperation in his voice. “You’re at Monmouth?” She phrased it as a question, but knew there was nowhere else Gansey would be. Monmouth was his home, and she knew he would seek it out.

“Yeah.”

“Stay there, I’m coming.”

“Jane—”

“Gansey, hush,” Blue said, already climbing out of bed and grabbing the nearest pair of shoes. “I have to take my bike because Mom needs the car in the morning, but I’ll be there soon. I’ll even take the time to write her a nice note so she doesn’t think I’ve been kidnapped or abducted by aliens.”

There was a dry chuckle on the other side of the line, and then silence. “Thank you, Blue.”

Blue mumbled a ‘you’re welcome’ into a line that was already dead as she made her way down the rickety staircase as quickly as she could without falling and breaking her neck. She hastily scribbled a note for her mom to see at a reasonable time in the morning, and headed out into the chilly still-night air while firing off a quick text.

Her bike was covered in a fine layer of dew and she scowled angrily, hopping on anyways. The additional moisture against her skin caused goosebumps to rise and she regretted not grabbing a sweater before she left.

When she arrived at Monmouth, Blue dropped her bike on the pavement and raced up to the front door, not bothering to knock. She knew it would be unlocked. 

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the interior gloom of Monmouth Manufacturing. While it was still dark enough outside to be considered night, the darkness inside Monmouth was different. Since the day they returned from their trip, Blue had come to detest the old factory building. 

She was mad at Noah for leaving, although he had no choice. She was even more mad at Ronan, who left when he  _ did _ have a choice. Now, the factory was oppressive in its emptiness, a big yawning chasm with only one small figure in a salmon polo and boat shoes sitting in the center of it. 

Blue made her way over to where Gansey was sitting on his bed, apparently contemplating his model of Henrietta. 

“Hey,” she said when she was in front of him. 

Gansey blinked a few times, as if he had been entirely unaware of her presence. “Hello, Jane.” He gestured to the bed next to him, and Blue sat down. 

She wrapped her arm around his, snuggling into his side, partially as comfort, and partially because she had definitely regretted not bringing a sweater with her on her bike ride. 

“Talk to me, Gansey,” Blue said, fully expecting to be met with silence. 

Gansey was mercurial at the best of times, and prone to ignoring any opportunity to talk about himself or his problems, and Blue expected this to be no different.

Instead, he surprised her by responding with, “I don’t know where to start.”

Blue snuggled herself deeper into his side, moving to more of a laying down position. This way, Gansey wouldn’t have to look at her while he talked, something she knew he wouldn’t be able to do. “How did your mom’s rally go? Do you think she’s going to win Secretary of the Department of the Office?”

She wasn’t looking, but she could hear the dry humor in Gansey’s voice. “She’s a Gansey, of course she’s going to win. And it’s State Corporation Commission,” he corrected. “The rally went fine, nearly two hundred of Mom’s closest friends and political allies showed up, which was a good turnout. Helen did a great job matching the decor perfectly to the mood that Mom was going for, and her speech was practiced to perfection. All Dad and I had to do was smile and shake a lot of hands.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Blue mused, carefully. There had to be a catch, some reason that Gansey up and left an event that even she knew was important to his mom. But she wanted Gansey to get to that when he felt comfortable. If small talk needed to come first, she would listen and nod along. 

“It wasn’t,” he admitted. “The catering was delightful this time around, much better than the large chain she hired last time.”   
  
Blue couldn’t stop the snort that escaped her, and thankfully she felt Gansey loosen slightly in response. 

“I’m not sure when it started turning bad,” he said, his voice sounding farther away, even though he hadn’t moved. “One minute, I was shaking hands with the Department of Defense Secretary, and the next, everything became hard to hear, like I was swimming underwater. I excused myself as quickly as I could. When I left, I ended up in the same hallway where Adam and I fought the time I brought him with me.”

Blue hummed into his side. She remembered the fallout of that, how upset both boys had been, and how Adam had gone missing after. 

“I decided staying there wasn’t a good idea either, so I headed up to my room. On the way, I was stopped by someone. I didn’t recognize him, but he seemed to recognize me. He asked what I’d been up to these years, and that he hadn’t seen me since the...bees incident.”

Blue let out a soft hum. This was why Gansey’s night had gone south so quickly. She knew he was a ticking time bomb, it was obvious in his every action. Having someone bring up his first death, on top of the bad evening he was already having, would have been more than enough to send his mood plummeting. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. 

Gansey let out a heavy sigh. “Me too. I drove back here after that, without even telling my family that I was leaving. I couldn’t, there’s no excuse I could use to leave that late when I said I would be there, but I just needed to...not be there.”

“Helen’s like a bloodhound anyways, she would have known something was up,” Blue tried a little humor. 

Gansey smiled wryly. “You’re not wrong there. She really is a force to be reckoned with.”

Blue shifted, so she was sitting behind Gansey. She began tracing swirls on his back, finger snagging in the fabric of his polo. Gansey let out another sigh, but relaxed backwards into her touch. 

“You are real Gansey, and the things you do are real, and they matter to so many people.  _ You _ matter to so many people.” 

She kept tracing random words and patterns, pulling Gansey down so he was laying on his side in front of her. As she traced, his breathing leveled out, and eventually, Blue was certain he had fallen asleep. Some time later, Blue drifted off into sleep herself.

She was startled awake a few hours later by a pounding on the door. Gansey’s breath hitched briefly but leveled out again, and she was pretty sure he was still asleep. She quickly and carefully wriggled out from behind him, doing her best not to interrupt his sleep, and raced to the front door, her sock feet slipping on the industrial floor. 

She flung the door open to see Ronan Lynch and Adam Parrish standing on the stoop, Ronan’s raven Chainsaw in tow. 

“About time,” Blue hissed. “But will you  _ please _ shut up? Gansey is sleeping.”

Ronan blinked. “Damn, how many Benadryl did you have to give him?”

“Ha, ha.” Blue intoned, while leveling a glare that could freeze glaciers. “I’m serious. He’s finally sleeping and he deserves to stay that way at least a little longer.”

Adam narrowed his eyes slightly. “Why did you text us both and demand that we come over then? It doesn’t seem like much of an emergency if you won’t even let us in.”

Blue felt anger flare through her and she stepped outside, forcing both boys to step back as she shut the door behind her. “Because,” she spat, “Gansey is in a really bad place right now, and the both of you decided to fuck off to fantasy farmer land and ignore your  _ best friend _ who, in case you’ve forgotten, quite  _ literally died for you _ !” 

In the face of her anger, both boys had the good grace to look slightly sheepish, Ronan more so than Adam. He opened his mouth to say something, but Blue cut him off, her tirade not over yet. 

“I love you both and I’m glad that you’re happy but I  _ sincerely _ hope that you’re also happy with how you’ve been treating Gansey these past few weeks. In fact—”

“Ronan? Adam?” 

Blue froze as Gansey’s voice came from behind her. In her fit of rage, she hadn’t heard the front door open or her boyfriend appear behind her. 

Ronan held up a grocery bag. “We brought snacks.”

“And ordered pizza,” Adam chimed in. “Should be here soon.”

“It’s too early for pizza,” Gansey pointed out.

Ronan snorted. “Check your watch, Dick.”   


Gansey checked his watch. It read 1:28 pm.

“Oh,” was all he said. 

Ronan and Adam swept in past Gansey. Adam went around and opened up the curtains layering the many windows, while Ronan opened the snacks. 

Gansey stood in the doorway, looking a little shell shocked. 

Blue swallowed her anger and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

“Did you tell them…?”

“No,” Blue said. “I did invite them over, but no.”   
  
“‘Invite’ is a strong word,” Ronan called from where he was gently relocating Gansey’s mint plant so there would be room when the pizza arrived. “I think the text contained death threats.”

Blue snorted. “Don’t give me any ideas.” She grabbed Gansey’s hand and pulled him inside.

Adam asked Gansey for details of their trip, and Gansey happily obliged, diving into the various places they stopped and the history they had learned along the way. 

Blue snagged some of the pretzels off the desk and popped them into her mouth one at a time. With the afternoon light now filtering in through the factory and Gansey’s voice ringing out, the place felt far more familiar, and like a home, than it had last night.

As Gansey was lecturing on the history of Tucson, the pizza arrived, and Ronan jumped up to get it before Adam had a chance to. Gansey didn’t seem to notice Ronan’s overenthusiasm to get the door, or Adam’s pout as he launched into how Tuscon became a major stop on some stagecoach mail line. 

Once they all had slices, one pizza just cheese for Blue, and one sausage and avocado in Gansey’s honor, they settled back down. Gansey was sitting in his desk chair, Blue and Adam were on the bed, and Ronan was sprawled out on the floor. 

Ronan caught Blue’s eye, and she turned to look at him. They had never been the best at communicating with each other, but the look on Ronan’s face was plain. He was asking for forgiveness. 

Blue held his gaze for a moment, feeling for all the world like a vengeful goddess, but then Gansey tilted his head back and laughed, and Blue felt her heart sing along with it. She gave Ronan a single nod, and a slight smile. 

He visibly relaxed, and tore into his third slice of the sausage and avocado pizza monstrosity. Adam looked over at them and Blue gave him the same nod, which Adam returned. He picked a slice of avocado off of his pizza and flung it across the room at Ronan. It hit him square in the face. 

“Hey!” Ronan yelled as he whipped a piece of sausage at Adam. Adam ducked, and it bounced off of Blue’s ear.

“Oh, it’s personal now!” She yelled, flinging the entirety of her slice’s toppings at Ronan. Ronan laughed and dodged, as the cheesy mess hit the floor with a wet flop. “Gansey, are you going to fight for my honor?”

Everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath for a moment, waiting to see if Gansey would join in or not. Then, Gansey peeled off a handful of sausage and whipped them at Ronan, one by one. Ronan froze in shock, so every piece hit him in the face. 

Adam let out an uproarious laugh and hurled an entire pizza slice in Gansey’s direction. It hit him directly in the chest, red sauce and green avocado smearing down his sleep-rumpled polo. 

Gansey looked down at his shirt in silence. A moment later, bubbling laughter erupted from him, a laugh that started big and full, and showed no signs of stopping. He grabbed two slices of pizza and flung them in different directions, one at Adam and one towards Ronan. Both missed, and both of his targets scrambled to grab the slices from where they landed to retaliate. 

They continued their food fight as Blue launched into the fray, and Chainsaw flapped around noisily, scooping up bits of sausage while snubbing the avocado. 

When the contents from both pizza boxes were scattered around the room—some was stuck to the window, Gansey’s bed was a mess, and Blue was pretty sure she even saw some on the ceiling—they all collapsed into a heap on the floor, breathing heavily and still giggling occasionally. 

Blue looked over and saw how radiant Gansey looked in that moment. He was covered in pizza sauce, and there was definitely avocado in his hair, but he looked better than Blue could remember seeing him in a long time.

She grinned. One pizza fight wasn’t going to change the fact that Gansey needed to confront his emotions, but it was nice to see her friends all back in one place, and she knew Gansey felt it too.

They were back together, Blue and her raven boys, and together they would face anything the world could throw at them.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the TRC Spring Fling 2020 for the wonderful Cashew! Hope you enjoy <3


End file.
